Temper Tantrums Are Draining!
Are you stressed out over your child’s frequent tantrums?
Let’s face it, tantrums are certainly among the most common causes of parenting stress.
Is there any doubt tantrums are one of the more draining aspects of being a parent?
Relieve Some of Your Parenting Doubts
I’ll admit it, even as a behavior analyst by trade, some of my son’s tantrums created some significant doubt about my abilities as a parent!
What if I were to tell you that even frequent and severe tantrums are not an indictment of your parenting skills. Would you believe me?
Read on and I just might make you a believer!
Negative Emotional Effects
When children demonstrate tantrum behavior, especially in public settings, there are various negative emotions/feelings parents commonly experience. I can relate because when my son would tantrum, I felt some of these myself.
Some of these emotions and feelings are:
The Painful Questions
- Does it seem like it’s only your child that is always behaving so badly?
- Do you feel like the tantrums are unpredictable?
- Do you feel like you are battling tantrums alone and that no one else can relate?
- Does it seem like the tantrums will never end and that there is no answer to stopping them?
You are not alone, all parents can relate, and there is an answer!
Facts to Help Override Your Negative Emotions
1. Temper Tantrums are extremely common.
Everyone demonstrates tantrum behavior. They begin well before a child is a year old and continue into the teenage years. And they really don’t end in childhood.
Be observant while out in the community and you are likely to witness adults demonstrating various behavior outbursts. Restaurants, crowded stores, and sporting events are some locations where you may encounter grown adults behaving badly.
However, if you are worried about daily tantrums, see this article from the American Psychological Association.
2. Tantrums serve a purpose.
Tantrums are a form of communication!
In essence, a temper tantrum is a collection of various behaviors that a child uses to obtain or avoid things.
A common one is to tantrum as a means to express anger or frustration when a favorite item or activity has been taken away or is currently being denied. Some parents may see this behavior before bedtime!
Another potential purpose of the tantrum is when a child is asked to perform a task and he or she doesn’t want to cooperate with that request. In this case a child is using the tantrum to escape or avoid something.
On other occasions, a child might simply enjoy the amount of attention he or she gains when they use tantrum behaviors.
3. Tantrums continue for a reason.
There is no doubt that a temper tantrum is a very poor way for someone to communicate a need.
Unfortunately, if that individual gets that need met while demonstrating these undesirable behaviors, then those behaviors are more likely to occur again.
It doesn’t take long for a child to associate their disagreeable behavior with a desirable result.
It is an unfortunate reality that unpleasant behavior is frequently rewarded.
Don’t Despair. There IS a Solution!
It is undeniable that a temper tantrum serves a purpose for your child. The behavioral performance of the tantrum is working for them! Human beings do not repeatedly demonstrate a behavior unless there is some sort of a payoff for that action.
Let me repeat myself here — your child’s temper tantrums are working for them!
Because of this, there is an attainable solution to temper tantrums that includes the following two factors:
- Stop the tantrums from working
- Reward alternative behaviors
Don’t allow the tantrums to be rewarded and reward other behaviors that are more desirable.
You Are Not Alone and Help is Available!
Not only can I help you understand this solution, but I can also provide you with the skills necessary to remedy these behaviors.
It will require some detective work, but I can help you in obtaining the clues necessary to solve the tantrum dilemma.
Before long, I’ll have you feeling like a temper tantrum mastermind! You’ll find information by sleuthing, use that knowledge to map out specific strategies, and then utilize your newfound skills to solve the case.
Are you in? Look for my Temper Tantrum Mastermind course coming soon.
Your Turn to Share
Where does your child tend to have temper tantrums?
Welcome to Behavioral Compass. As a self-employed behavior analyst, my career path has led to teaching parents, colleagues, and support staff. Over the years, I’ve honed my teaching skills working as an adjunct professor for St. Joseph’s University and Lipscomb University. In my spare time, I love to watch movies. I’ll talk to you about Star Wars any time of the day. Also, I’m the proud dad to an aspiring aerospace engineer. Drop me a message anytime.